Professional Worrier T-Shirts

"Bummer Magazine"

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

I.T. Fear

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Nervous Oral Testing

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

Concern Chart

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

No Action Comics

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

'Next, they'll be taking our jobs.'

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

"I can always tell when there's something on Ferguson's mind."

"Trust me: It's benign."

The reassurer: the magazine for chronic worriers

"Anyway, all you'll need to worry about soon is which direction the wind is blowing."

'This compulsion to check you've always locked you can door...how long have you...?

'I think I left the iron on.'

Problem. . . Appropriate Amount Of Worry. . . Extra Worry Just To Be Sure. . . Even More Worry Days After Problem Forgotten About.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"