Tortoise Appreciator Gifts

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"I've downsized."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Eat my dust!"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

Laboratory Retriever

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"We haven't danced in ages."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

Say cheese!

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Tortoises breakdancing

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

'She's still trying to decide if she likes you or not.'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

'Multiple personality.'

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

Brexit Tortoise

Rabbits picknick

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

"Get ready."