Tortoise Aficionado Gifts

"Don't preted to hibernate when I'm talking to you."

'Multiple personality.'

"As cats go, my Bertie's always been a little slow on his feet, but then again, that's a tortoise shell for you!"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Eat my dust!"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Turtle Home

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"My doctor told me to get more exercise by walking a pet, but he didn't specify it had to be a dog."

Brexit Tortoise