Tortoise Lover Gifts

"Come on, I know you're in there, I can see your eye through the peep-hole!"

"Sorry Sir, but it is already on the slowest speed..."

"It helps to lessen the load of my shelf Dad: I'm so much faster now..."

'I told you it was a bad idea moving in together.'

'My wife left me months ago . . .that's her over there.'

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'

'I was a great burglar: I was so slow I wouldn't trigger the motion sensors...'

Racers' Gate.

'He's never been the same since he ate that old lottery ticket.'

Tortoise with Motor

Tortoise in love at first sight.

"They grow up so slow, don't they?"

"You entered in the luge event?"

"Roll bar."

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Eat my dust!"

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Brexit Tortoise

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'