Tongue-in-cheek Golfer Gifts

'Then it's agreed... a tube of Poligrip per hole!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Shall I be mother?

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

Burke and Hare and Hare

"No Bald Games"

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"Bitch."

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

'...and twenty-two mulligans.'

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"