Tongue-in-cheek Golfer Pillows

'Then it's agreed... a tube of Poligrip per hole!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Shall I be mother?

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

Burke and Hare and Hare

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"No Bald Games"

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

The Cheshire Dog.

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

"Bitch."

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

'...and twenty-two mulligans.'

"I hate golf...But I Like wearing silly pants."

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

Tommy, I have a question for you. I didn't do nothin'. We're missing a scone. Now, no one's accusing you of anything. I swear, you've got the wrong guy. I definitely didn't take a scone when you went to check email because I was super hungry. You have the right to remain silent. I did it!