Tongue-in-cheek Talker Pillows

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Shall I be mother?

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

The Three Doctors.

Roman Golfer.

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"No Bald Games"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"It's a thongbird."

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"Bitch."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'