Tongue-in-cheek Traditionalist Gifts

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Do it yourself books.

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Shall I be mother?

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

The Three Doctors.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"No Bald Games"

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"It's a thongbird."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

"Bitch."

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

R.I.P Seth Grimthorp

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'