Tongue-in-cheek Aficionado Gifts

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

Shall I be mother?

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

The Three Doctors.

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

Grump Horse and Rider

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"No Bald Games"

Burke and Hare and Hare

"It's a thongbird."

'If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it's a genetically modified potato.'

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

M.O.M.A. (Museum Of Missing Art.

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

Kissing Booth

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'