Tongue-in-cheek Fan Gifts

R.I.P Seth Grimthorp

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Do it yourself books.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Shall I be mother?

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"No Bald Games"

The Cheshire Dog.

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"It's a thongbird."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

South America's mighty Amazon Basin.

As you know by now know, we received dozens of replies to our request for suggestions to rename Rudy Park's generation. Today, we announce the third-place runners-up. That selection goes to a handful of readers who deemed Rudy's peer group Generation E for entitlement or entitled. Thoughts? I thought he E referred to easy to saddle with the deficit, you cheapskate curmudgeons! What do you think of that?! Solid retort. But we though enough to give it third place. Tomorrow: Our runners-up are anno

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'The gentleman would like to buy you a drink if you'll follow him on twitter, and I'd be really grateful if you didn't explain what that means.'

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

Why do you have an empty beer can hanging from the ceiling? Because it's hard to find mistletoe in April.