Tongue-in-cheek Athlete Gifts

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Your shoe's untied.'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

The Three Doctors.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"No Bald Games"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"Bitch."

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

'You may have misunderstood about Yompville being a country club prison.'

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'