Tongue-in-cheek Athlete T-Shirts

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Your shoe's untied.'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

The Three Doctors.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"No Bald Games"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

The Cheshire Dog.

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

"Bitch."

'Is throwing a toupee a technical foul?'

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

As you know by now know, we received dozens of replies to our request for suggestions to rename Rudy Park's generation. Today, we announce the third-place runners-up. That selection goes to a handful of readers who deemed Rudy's peer group Generation E for entitlement or entitled. Thoughts? I thought he E referred to easy to saddle with the deficit, you cheapskate curmudgeons! What do you think of that?! Solid retort. But we though enough to give it third place. Tomorrow: Our runners-up are anno

Tommy, I have a question for you. I didn't do nothin'. We're missing a scone. Now, no one's accusing you of anything. I swear, you've got the wrong guy. I definitely didn't take a scone when you went to check email because I was super hungry. You have the right to remain silent. I did it!

'The gentleman would like to buy you a drink if you'll follow him on twitter, and I'd be really grateful if you didn't explain what that means.'

Why do you have an empty beer can hanging from the ceiling? Because it's hard to find mistletoe in April.

'You may have misunderstood about Yompville being a country club prison.'