Tongue-in-cheek Enthusiast Gifts

Did you feel that, Randy? I think I was an earthquake. Tough to tell, little buddy. I had just come up with an idea for a new book in my "Randy's MAN-uals" series. The working title would be "The Back-Hair Formula: How to Ensure Your Inner Beast is a Lion, Not a Woolly Mammoth" I'll have to shorten that, of course. The earth often shakes when I get a good idea. Well, my mind was completely blank at the time, so ... pretty sure it was an earthquake.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

Shall I be mother?

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

The Three Doctors.

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

Grump Horse and Rider

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

Burke and Hare and Hare

"No Bald Games"

The Cheshire Dog.

"It's a thongbird."

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

M.O.M.A. (Museum Of Missing Art.

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

As you know by now know, we received dozens of replies to our request for suggestions to rename Rudy Park's generation. Today, we announce the third-place runners-up. That selection goes to a handful of readers who deemed Rudy's peer group Generation E for entitlement or entitled. Thoughts? I thought he E referred to easy to saddle with the deficit, you cheapskate curmudgeons! What do you think of that?! Solid retort. But we though enough to give it third place. Tomorrow: Our runners-up are anno

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

Kissing Booth

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

'The gentleman would like to buy you a drink if you'll follow him on twitter, and I'd be really grateful if you didn't explain what that means.'