Tongue-in-cheek Enthusiast Gifts

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Shall I be mother?

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

The Three Doctors.

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

Grump Horse and Rider

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"No Bald Games"

Burke and Hare and Hare

"It's a thongbird."

M.O.M.A. (Museum Of Missing Art.

"I bet if it hadn't smoked, it'd still be alive."

'This tongue transplant I had with fly paper is great.'

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

"It's a novelty t-shirt me and the boys designed, Mrs. Patterson!"

Kissing Booth

'Come on...you can't all have hayfever in the middle of winter.'

"The way I look at it, drinking alcohol may never solve anything. . . but neither did drinking milk!"

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

"I wish I'd said that!"