Tongue-in-cheek Disciplinarian Gifts

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

No-Work Orange

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

The Three Doctors.

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

Burke and Hare and Hare

"No Bald Games"

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

'The little woman hide the remote control, and I've lost ten pounds looking for it!'

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

"I wish I'd said that!"

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

"I have no luck with women. Am I racist for blaming someone who wasn't born here?"

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'

R.I.P Seth Grimthorp