Tolkien Enthusiast Gifts

'Where do you buy your clothes, Frodo?' 'Erm, Orcsfam, Gandalf. Orcsfam.'

"Oh, I forgot to tell you: I was adopted."

Sauron's Sore Eye

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

The Landlord Of The Rings

'It'll be ready by next Tuesday.'

Lord of the Rings IV.

"I keep reading 'Lord of the Rings' over and over again...!"

The experienced backpacker.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

I'm a little disappointed -- I always thought the ultimate secret to the universe would rhyme.

Texas Dashboard Organizer

'Good question son... Any of you guys know why we howl at the full moon?

"He has great communication skills."

Wolf Watching the Sunset

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

Steeroids

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

Leo Tolstoy

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

"Sorry, dude. You've been voted out of the pack!"

'... And when Brad Pitt told you that it was this way to the waterhole, you didn't think that you may have been hallucinating?'

'Take no notice, he was raided by wolves.'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

Reintroducing wolves to the wild.

'Great news, Gran'ma! I got a grant to study wolves in your woods!'