Tolkien Fans Gifts

'Right, that's the last time you lot watch Lord of the Rings!'

Hi, Frank. Did you and Francine take a vacation? We went on a tour of middle earth! It was the trip of a lifetime. Middle earth? Wow! Do you have any pictures? Yeah, here they are. We were Frodo-bombed in every one.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Mikado

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

Lord of the Rings IV.

Yeah, the commute is killing me too: I live a full kilometre away...

'How's the egg?' '.Turtle crawls out'

Bird plucking a cello

"Take two aspirin and follow me on TikTok."

Psychaitry. Are you sure lying on my back is the best way to address my feelings of helplessness?

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

'But Sweety, you have to learn how to tell the time: As a wolf, you'll often be asked...'

"In my opinion, the best invention was the TV-remote: It used to take me ages to change channel when I had to walk from the couch to the TV..."

God perfects his turkey design.

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

The Landlord Of The Rings

'Don't worry. I've got your back.'

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

"I've picked up too many nasty Hobbits."

I hate it when those big rigs zoom past you like they own the road!

'First, you've got to learn to slow down...'

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

"Don't laugh – it got my uncle out of the Army."

Sauron's Sore Eye

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Birds Ice Skating.

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

"He believes it will freeze over any day now."

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'