Tolkien Aficionado Gifts

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"I really look forward to this evening's walk."

Lord of the Rings IV.

The Thinker

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Angela Merkel

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Otto von Bismarck

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

The Landlord Of The Rings

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

Leo Tolstoy

"I've picked up too many nasty Hobbits."

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

"As seen on TikTok...."

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

Men talking about dog, "My dog takes his walks pretty seriously"

'My, what large dentures you have, Grandma.'

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

Friendly Troll.

Sauron's Sore Eye

'That's a puffer. If you want to blow a house down, you'll also need a huffer.'

'Well, we located a kidney, but the donor is a Trekkie, so we'll leave it up to you.'

'Right, that's the last time you lot watch Lord of the Rings!'

Bismarck's Criticism of Wilhelmine Imperial Policy

'Where do you buy your clothes, Frodo?' 'Erm, Orcsfam, Gandalf. Orcsfam.'