Tolkien Reader Gifts

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Two Generations of Readers

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Redlaw and the Phantom

'Bront?saurus.'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"Speed reader...?"

Lord of the Rings IV.

Jane Austen

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

Good boy

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

"I dropped my goblet!"

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Books*. *Batteries not included.

'But everybody does that stuff!'

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

Child reading on the toilet is abducted by aliens.

The Landlord Of The Rings

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

"I've picked up too many nasty Hobbits."

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

Nicholas congratulates Arthur Gride on his wedding morning

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner