Tolkien Fan Gifts

'There's a wizard, three hobbits and an elf out here inquiring about a ring.'

"No I haven't tried 'The Hobbit'. I never read non-fiction..."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

Snowman hitch-hikes a ride on the toboggan.

Lord of the Rings IV.

'Dad, this is so cool: Next month is a Blue Moon month, with two full moons instead of one!'

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

Little pig #2 makes himself a less desireable meal.

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

'How's the egg?' '.Turtle crawls out'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Yeah, the commute is killing me too: I live a full kilometre away...

Celine Dion

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

"In my opinion, the best invention was the TV-remote: It used to take me ages to change channel when I had to walk from the couch to the TV..."

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

The Landlord Of The Rings

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

'But Sweety, you have to learn how to tell the time: As a wolf, you'll often be asked...'

God perfects his turkey design.

'Don't worry. I've got your back.'

"I graduated magma cum laude."

"I've picked up too many nasty Hobbits."

I hate it when those big rigs zoom past you like they own the road!

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

'Don't you think its time you packed in doing press ups?'

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

'First, you've got to learn to slow down...'