Tolkien Devotee Gifts

'Wake up, Harold - you're Tolkien in your sleep.'

"I've picked up too many nasty Hobbits."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

Lord of the Rings IV.

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

Church Restoration Fund.

Happy Violinist

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

Post-psychoanalysis

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

Why Centrist Democrats Can't Get to Bernie Sanders

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

The Landlord Of The Rings

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

Give Thanks.

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

Variety. Wow! "Lord of the Rings" has done very well at the box office. It's made some people rich. They're elf-made millionaires.

'What's wrong, Brenda? I thought you were into this whole 'Twilight' fad.'

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

Lord of the Rungs: Window Cleaner

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my prenup anymore.'

'Congratulations Perkins! Always first arrived and last to leave. You're on your way to the top.'

"I'm on Fendi and Prada, and heading toward Louis."

Sauron's Sore Eye