Star Trek Devotee Gifts

'Have you given serious consideration to adding investment-grade Star Trek trinkets to your portfolio?'

Why Centrist Democrats Can't Get to Bernie Sanders

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

The experienced backpacker.

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Lost World: You are Here

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Star Wars Audience

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'As part of the company's spirit of openness, I've decided to tell you all a little about the real me.'

Time Machine Collision.

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Alien: "I'm here to negotiate my new contract with George Lucas !"

Chickenspox

Projecting Obama

Watching telly

"What do you mean you watched ahead?"

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

"I'm going to binge watch all 600 episodes of my favorite show. I'll talk to you in a few weeks."

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'You just lost points for so easily getting that Geeky 'Star Trek' reference.'

"Captain, can you come to the transporter room please?!"

'... and I'd like a Holodeck right off the living room.'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

Take us to your leader.

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

TV and man

Geriatric Darth Vader

Mr. Spock at a child rearing seminar.

I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.

'... And when Brad Pitt told you that it was this way to the waterhole, you didn't think that you may have been hallucinating?'

Boss, I've come down with something. I need the day off. That "something" wouldn't be Star Wars tickets, would it? "Star Wars"? What's "Star Wars"? I'm really sick. Cough. Cough. Oh