Star Wars Devotee Gifts

"Darth? Darth Vader?"

Star Wars Audience

Geriatric Darth Vader

Boss, I've come down with something. I need the day off. That "something" wouldn't be Star Wars tickets, would it? "Star Wars"? What's "Star Wars"? I'm really sick. Cough. Cough. Oh

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

Alien: "I'm here to negotiate my new contract with George Lucas !"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

International Women's Day

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Meet the author"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

The Amazing Man-Spider

'Einsteiners.'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Hey Pete, why do you think they call it a 'Supermoon?'"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"You've changed."

Middle-Age Superheroes

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

Head over Hooves

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Getting to Know You

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'