Star Wars Aficionado Gifts

Jar wars

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

From Pure Evil to Pure Lover

Did you just say "I'm stuck with a sand person and a rabbi head"? I did. I was dating a rabbi who was really into "Star Wars," so I got this great idea for a first date. I took her to this guy I know who makes bobbleheads while you wait. You've got a "bobblehead guy"? What kind of conniving Lothario has a "bobblehead guy"? The successful kind.

Your new band is called Screaming Asterisk? Where'd you come up with that? Watching Star Wars. When Luke's x-wing fighter made it's attack-run at the Death Star, it looked like a screaming asterisk. I narrowed it down to either that or "Twirling Pizza." Wait ... don't tell me ... the Millennium Falcon dodging laser-fire. "Metal Bikini" was in the running, but it was just way too obvious.

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

I'm so confused about Star Wars. Anakin Skywalker was good, then he turned into evil Darth Vader. It's just a movie, Timmy. It's important to remember that. Oh. What about Governor Cuomo. The dark side is powerful.

Dancing with the Star Wars

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"Meet the author"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Einsteiners.'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

Head over Hooves

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

Getting to Know You

The Pink Bantha

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Science fiction fans on other planets

Doctor Frankenstein creates a new monster that makes the mob even more blood thirsty. Colour

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."