Tail-tale Reader Gifts

Good boy

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

Thomas Hardy

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'It was this big. I swear'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

A Salmon Lie

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

A dog reads a newspaper

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'