Tail Tale Teller Gifts

My tail's cold.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Horror Stories.

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Good boy

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

The giraffe-tamer.

Little Red Riding Hood

"You consistently lied about the size of the fish you caught. Well....we've all done that."

'That's better than your fish stories, Dad.'

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"

Tall tales, short stories

Father imagining son with fish