Tall Tale Tellers Gifts

'I let the line go slack, then wango! Jerked that sucker right out of his boat. He was a big one, alright.'

"Then I told Jonah, I'm a big fish not a whale, get your story straight."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Horror Stories.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Reasonableman

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Fishing Boat Derby

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'It was this big. I swear'

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'