Tail Tales Gifts

"It get it – you're hungry."

The Fourth Little Pig

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

Good boy

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

Circus trousers

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

The giraffe-tamer.

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

My tail's cold.

Tall tales, short stories

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

Father imagining son with fish

If you think you have caught a record fish...make sure you have a witness...

"You consistently lied about the size of the fish you caught. Well....we've all done that."

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'You just grew three inches.'

'He was six foot nine when he started!'

Squirrel Salon

'So there I was with the world at my feet - it was then I got frostbite.'

"You should've seen the one that got away."