Traditional Tales Gifts

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Knights of the bedside table.

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

'...And another thing, I am not your best friend, thats just an old wives' tale.'

My, grandma, what a big premium you have for a plan that doesn't cover getting eaten by a wolf.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

"Those tights pinch and chaff. We're going commando."

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Class, Gracie's great aunt Carmen is here to share some fun Latino folk tales!"

Blues guitarists gather at the crossroads

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

'I've had to downsize because because of the credit-crunch!'

Aesop's Fables - The Lion and the Mouse

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

"Mr Piper, after a comprehensive study of your social media data I think we have a clear definition of your core audience."

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

'That doesn't look too good. You really should see a mouse about that.'

Little Dutch Boy in an Hourglass

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice and the Red Queen.

"She was a dish when we ran away together but that was a long time ago."

"I thought I'd clouded that rodent's mind..."

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"