Magical Tales Gifts

"I want to be irresistible to women."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

Warrior Woman

"Puss in cement boots"

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Knights of the bedside table.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

Little Red Riding Carpet

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'