Magical Tales Lover Gifts

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

J. R. R. Tolkien

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

Folk o' the Wee

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Hey! No Tongues!'

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Fairy godmother arrives

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

Diver finds Davy Jones' locker.

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

Here "Lies" Pinocchio

"Fashion over function!"

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

Finding Bigfoot

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"I'm Hygienia, the good witch of the north."

'I'm telling you, that was Harris and he was carrying a goose.'

For services to Tourism. . .

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'