Lovers Of Magical Tales Gifts

'I have no problems with that old black magic. It's my short-term memory that's giving me trouble.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Puss in cement boots"

Pastries and Candy

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges.

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

Europa takes a selfie

Let's all be fairies.

Business plan.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

"Don't we like the Brothers Grimm anymore?"

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

Babe in the woods!

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

"This must be where the tooth fairy goes to window shop!"

'They might be able to resist the candy, but no healthy child can walk by a freshly raked pile of leaves.'

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

"I remember when this was all forest..."

Brothers Grimm

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

"I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I'm not ponying up for an afterparty too."

"You're not the sleeping beauty I fell in love with."

"All the king's horses and all the king's men have voted for scrambled, sah!"

The Cosmology of Timmy

'This is the last time I bid on a job for the Seven Dwarfs.'

'It says here that everytime someone says they don't believe in fairies - a Tenor dies...'