Tail Tales Fan Gifts

'I know a Tail Implant Specialist who can fix that for you.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Fishing Tales

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Fishing Boat Derby

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

Good boy

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

Circus trousers

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

My tail's cold.

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

A Tale of the Sea

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

"This is your great-great-uncle Enchilmo Ladas. We called him 'Enchi' for short."