Tall Tales Fan Gifts

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

'You just grew three inches.'

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

Circus trousers

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Fishing Tales

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

Fishing Boat Derby

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

Library: Tall-Tales and Facts.

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

Today's special guest: Rudy Park. Author of the bestselling memoir iMac Therefore I Am. Raised by rabid chimps in the desert, Rudy went on to invent the computer, and date Paris Hilton. Such an inspiring tale, young man. I made it all up. And so honest, too. Let me come clean!

A Tale of the Sea

'Our tuna salad baguettes are this big!'

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."