Classic Tale Reader Gifts

'Steer clear of the blow hole until we get to Sausalito.'

Humpty Dumpty on Break.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Thomas Hardy

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'Bront?saurus.'

Good boy

Jane Austen

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I dropped my goblet!"

A new meaning in the Roman

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Long Johns Silver."

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

Giant Headless Horseman

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

Books*. *Batteries not included.

Don Quixote knocking over a propeller.

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."