Classic Tale Reader Gifts

'Steer clear of the blow hole until we get to Sausalito.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Thomas Hardy

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'Bront?saurus.'

Jane Austen

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

Good boy

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"I dropped my goblet!"

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Long Johns Silver."

A new meaning in the Roman

Giant Headless Horseman

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

Don Quixote knocking over a propeller.

"No, let down your hair!"

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."