Tolstoy Aficionado Gifts

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

Edgar Allen Poe

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Gunter Grass

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Stephen Spender.

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

Noel Coward.

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

My Literary Influences

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Ironing Punctuation

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

Swells - Men's Fashion

How a poet works

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

Library

Short story. Collected works. The Tolstoy gulp