Tolstoy Aficionado T-Shirts

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

Edgar Allen Poe

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

My Literary Influences

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

Swells - Men's Fashion

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

How a poet works

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

Short story. Collected works. The Tolstoy gulp