Tolstoy Fan T-Shirts

"The End."

"I read War and Peace, liked 1/2 of it."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Eat my dust!"

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

Chill Out Worshippers!

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

Brexit Tortoise

War and Peace GIF

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

Otto von Bismarck

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

"As cats go, my Bertie's always been a little slow on his feet, but then again, that's a tortoise shell for you!"

Crime - Punishment

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

Leo Tolstoy

Nutcracker in a Tutu

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

Psychiatrist.

"Sara, we think you have a Dostoyevsky problem."

Australasia.

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

Sauron's Sore Eye

Trepak from Nutcracker