Textile Cynic Gifts

'I'm boycotting the clothing industry.'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'Happy now?'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Bush vs. America

Knitting is Knirvana.

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

"Let's see if we can't make an end run around basic human decency."

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

Please Do Not Pounce on Art

Sucking Up to Gen X

It's a new miracle fabric, of course.

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

Old Rope

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

Maid with her sewing basket

Bias Tape

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

"He's our man. He's our guy. He lies less than those other guys!"

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Mail & Political lies.

"I want a campaign that shows the brand's empathetic, inclusive and caring side - or you're all fired."

Kung Foo Cat

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

Sisypus

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"