Textile Cynic Pillows

'I'm boycotting the clothing industry.'

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Knitting is Knirvana.

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

"Let's see if we can't make an end run around basic human decency."

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

Please Do Not Pounce on Art

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

Old Rope

'Look! The first active ingredient is marketing spin.'

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

Maid with her sewing basket

Bias Tape

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

"He's our man. He's our guy. He lies less than those other guys!"

"I'd better read the official view before I form an opinion."

Kung Foo Cat

Sisypus

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

Mail & Political lies.

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

'Going as a high-thread-count ghost again this year.'