Cynical Fashionista Pillows

"My consumer confidence has been replaced with consumer sarcasm."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

'It makes a cutting edge fashion statement, plus it has room for a gas mask and compact bio hazard suit.'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

Cash Rebate

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Hoody Woodpecker.

Salad Hat

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

Beauty Shop

"Would you like to come up for a margarita?"

Information and Still don't get it.

Horse costume.

Kangaroo with fishing equipment.

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

'This is Hell, madam. Everything you try on will make your butt look big.'

'Tah-DAH! -- Guess what I conquered!'

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

'Since issuing hospital gowns to them we've saved on air-conditioning.'

Finally, a fanny-pack he could be proud of.

Taste in High Life.

Fears

Horn Hair

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

Stupid T-Shirt

The grim reaper tries on new clothes

"It doesn't mean anything. I just like how it looks."