Cynical Fashionista Pillows

"My consumer confidence has been replaced with consumer sarcasm."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'It makes a cutting edge fashion statement, plus it has room for a gas mask and compact bio hazard suit.'

Cash Rebate

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

Salad Hat

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Would you like to come up for a margarita?"

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

Beauty Shop

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

Information and Still don't get it.

Horse costume.

Kangaroo with fishing equipment.

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

How to dress for forty below...if you're over forty, or under twenty.

"Wise up. You and me do not make a ferret craze."

'This is Hell, madam. Everything you try on will make your butt look big.'

'Tah-DAH! -- Guess what I conquered!'

Finally, a fanny-pack he could be proud of.

'Since issuing hospital gowns to them we've saved on air-conditioning.'

Horn Hair

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

Fears

Taste in High Life.

"It doesn't mean anything. I just like how it looks."

The grim reaper tries on new clothes

'Grotesque!'