Shopping Cynic Gifts

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

Cut Price

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

Self-Checkout.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

Down on Her.

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"