Shopping Cynic Gifts

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

A young couple selects items from a shop.

Only One Item or Fewer.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

Down on Her.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

'These smart pills are overpriced!"