Shopping Critic Gifts

Buyables. Disposables.

"They'd better be some damn fine oboes."

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

'Another 10 slice toaster? Great. And what happens if you don't make any friends?'

Cut Price

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

A women in a shoeshop.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Only One Item or Fewer.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

Self-Checkout.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

Irregulars

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'