Retail Critic Gifts

'...Proof that once there were small business on Mars!'

Stupid T-Shirt

'I got a 'two for one' on the headstones.'

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. . . already marked down for clearance and it's not even Halloween yet."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Everything's gone up."

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

CATCHY NAME

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

'Our giant sale now on!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"