Commerce Critic Gifts

The way I look at it...give a man a fish and you got a potential customer. Teach a man to fish and you lose market share.

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

Sign Reform

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

Roads with a view.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Privatized Jails

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

"Budget Cuts."

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

The COMPANY is always right.

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"