Tech Innovation Nerd Gifts

"Note to Bruce in engineer...forget the wheel, invent the damn toilet!"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Computer Bore

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

The DaVinci Code

If nobody had invented graphics

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Elfie Stick

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Bot Art: After da Vinci

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Cloud Computing.

Before the development of the microchip, attempts to build a laptop computer were largely unsuccessful.

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

'Very good and to the point.'