Technology Nerd Gifts

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'You mean in the time it took me to walk from the counter to here this device has become obsolete?'

My brand-new electric car allows me to travel freely to almost all four corners of the living room.

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

The Evolution of the Hat

Institute of Time Travel

"I thought a wheel was a wheel."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just download them?"

20,000 Leagues under the sea.

'The fellow must have a pace maker because he collapsed when I fired the garage door opener at him.'

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

"It goes on to say 'We use petroleum to light our laps, and to heat our food, but we can't seem to come up with an internal combustion engine'."

"Here's the tablets I told you about, Mo'...there's no upgrades planned, but they do come with cloud support."

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

The Computer Bore

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

The DaVinci Code

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Elfie Stick

If nobody had invented graphics

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

WiFi Signals

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."