Talk Show Addicts Gifts

"Guys my age get all their news from 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Stephen Fry

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

Night Life: L.A.

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"