Tv Show Addicts Gifts

'... and I sentence you to three years appearing in reality TV shows.'

'... And with it's multi-programme recording timer, you can walk in the woods all you like without missing any of your favorite T.V. shows.'

Showbiz Awards

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Big screen TV falling through floor

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Will work for Food Network.