Show Addict Gifts

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Showbiz Awards

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Big screen TV falling through floor

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Stephen Fry

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Can't Touch This

Starvation Watching

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"Is anything good on?"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'