Tabloid Collector Gifts

Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko No Comebacko

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

A woman waits in a "Gossip" stand

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

The Working Woman's Magazine

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Waiting Room Quarterly

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Prayboy

Alien Beauty Magazine

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

JET (Part I)

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'